Five Reasons You Still Aren’t Successful 

As human beings, we all have a desire to be successful. In fact, we all are successful in many ways. Every day, thousands of us struggle with the idea that we haven’t achieved success. Overcoming our insecurities and becoming the successful person we want is a big challenge for many of us. But often the biggest challenge is accepting that we are what stands in our way. Here are five ways we hold ourselves back from future success.

We Don’t Understand What Success Is

Many people get confused about the difference between being successful and measuring their success. The chances are that when we imagine being successful, it involves a mental picture of us showing off a dream house, relaxing on an island somewhere, driving an expensive car, or just ogling the zeros on our bank account balance. There’s nothing wrong with any of that, but unfortunately, we’ve been influenced (by our friends, our family, and media) to think that those things, or other things like them, are a success. Success is defined as “the accomplishment of an aim or purpose.” Technically speaking, no one can become successful, because we already are. To be living, breathing, and reading, we have had to experience success in many ways that include surviving childbirth, keeping our bodies fed, and learning the alphabet.

We Don’t Have the Mindset of Success

Success doesn’t have to be seen as an achievement or an accomplishment. In fact, the more we look at it in that way, the more unsuccessful we feel. If there is always something else that we haven’t accomplished yet, we will always feel unsuccessful. Instead, we can learn to see success as an intrinsic part of our daily lives. Realizing success with small things or whatever makes us feel successful personally, can help us incorporate successfulness into our idea of who we are. As this mindset is strengthened, we will grow our confidence and learn to think of yourself as highly successful people.

We Haven’t Tried

Many of us feel unsuccessful because we’re stuck doing something we don’t enjoy day after day just to pay the bills. Additionally, we feel like we could be successful at something we do enjoy if only we had the chance. Maybe it’s drawing comic book art, designing video games, acting, or owning a profitable business. But honestly, most of us haven’t tried. The fact is, there is plenty of room for success and for money to be made in all of those fields, and the information and training required to become an expert in them is freely available.  There are endless justifications for why we haven’t given it our best shot, but most of them come down to being afraid. Asking ourselves what the worst possible outcome could be can help us challenge the irrational fears that keep us from trying.

We Don’t Want To

This reason could be summed up with the famous phrase, “With great power comes great responsibility.” Suppose you did become a highly successful actor or billion dollar business owner; would you want to, or even be able to, handle the pressures of the job? We often take for granted the fact that as our professional presence grows, so too do the parts of our lives that are public-facing. If we want to be successful in larger endeavors, we have to be willing to take on greater responsibilities and stressors.

Our Friends Are Who They Are

They don’t mean to hold us back, of course. They are our friends, after all. In fact, that’s the root of the problem. Our friends tend to be very similar to us in a lot of meaningful ways, such as in their work ethic, thought processes, and motivations. Studies clearly indicate that it’s the rule, not the exception, for us to become more and more like the people we spend the most time around. This finding doesn’t mean we need to dissolve our friendships, as long as they’re healthy. That would be moving in the opposite direction of success. Instead, we just need to cultivate new relationships in addition to our existing ones. If we spend time with people whose style of success we want to emulate, we quickly find ourselves taking on their habits.
The biggest hurdle in becoming successful is breaking the habit of thinking we are unsuccessful. The more responsibility we take for our thoughts and actions, the more empowered we feel. The most empowered we feel, the easier it becomes to pursue what we want.